Tyring Times

I hate removing and fitting tyres; it hurts my orchid-petal-like delicate ladies' hands.

The last time I got a puncture, all I had to hand were long-valve inner tubes and consequently have been riding around with practically a couple of inches of valve sticking out of my front Neutron rim. It has no performance implications, it just looks stupid, unnecessary, not at all pro. But I wasn't prepared to go through all that tyre-fighting palaver just for vanity's sake. So last weekend, when I noticed that the tyres on my Neutrons were getting pretty cut up, I decided it was time to change them and to finally replace that offensively long-valved innertube while I was as it.

But I only had one new tyre at home and the new latex inner tube in the cupboard also had a long valve. So I just changed the rear tyre - but noticed that the rim tape could do with replacing. Oh well. I resigned myself to taking the new tyre off again at the shop Monday night where it was possible that one of the guys would take pity and help me out.

After the shop closed on Monday, I assembled some new rim tape, a new tyre, and a latex tube with a standard length valve. I got my new rear tyre off, replaced the rim tape, and re-assembled it with no problems. Confident that I was finally getting better at this, I removed the old front tyre, put on the new one, and fit the new tube. After wrestling the tyre fully on to the rim, proud of myself for not having to use a tyre lever, I discovered a small area where it looked like the tube might be sitting under the bead. I tried a couple of times to partially inflate the tube and massage it up into the centre of the tyre, but it didn't seem to be improving. So I thought I'd try pumping it right up, hoping that full pressure would pop it up out of harm's way.

As the pump pressure gauge hit 90 psi, I thought that'd done the trick when suddenly, "BANG! Pphhhhht..." and the sickening sight of green rubber bubbled out from between the tyre and the rim. Damn.

But, practice makes perfect, right?, so I got another tube and had another go, thankful for staff discount pricing. This tube wasn't pinched and didn't explode, so I set off on my merry way home.

Two blocks from home, I pull up at a junction and hear "POP! Ppphhhhhttt..." and my front wheel sinks on to the road. Damn and blast! As I push my bike home, I mentally debate whether I should remove my shoes to save wearing my cleats out. "I'll look like an idiot. But then, I already look like an idiot, clacking along in lycra, pushing a bike. Hey, what does it matter what I look like? Save the cleats! No, the pavement's cold and just my luck I'll end up stepping on a piece of glass and cutting my foot open." By the time this internal debate is played out, I'm home and rolling the bike down the hall, disgusted, to it's parking spot without even looking at the flat tyre.

For the rest of the week, I commuted on Jan, and today finally sat down to change that punctured innertube.

I found a rather large hole in it a couple of inches from the valve on the tread side. I ran my fingers around the inside of the tyre and didn't feel anything lodged in it, so just got on with fitting the new one. Which all went swimmingly, and I was even beginning to think I was getting good at this, until I pumped it up and at around 80 psi "BANG!" - green latex exploded through a centimetre-long slit in the tyre at just the spot of Monday night's puncture. Damn, blast, and tarnation! How did I miss that?!?

How many flipping attempts will it take me to get this right? The most annoying thing, though, is that there was nothing wrong with the existing tyre and tube I'd had fitted on this rim all winter! It was only as a precaution that I thought it was time to change them. If it ain't broke...

What cut this brand-new tyre?

In a "well if it's going to rain, it may as well pour" sort of state of mind, I then decided to tackle a job I've been dreading for weeks: pulling the FMB cross tubs off my Zipps in preparation for fitting the slicks I want to ride for my imminent Spring Classics tour. I thought a lot about how to approach this. I've heard stories of people having to pull punctured tubs off with pliers and the man who sells us Tufo Extreme Tub Tape claims it holds so well that you might need to cut a punctured tub to get it off the rim. But I use Conti tub glue, which, although sure it was stuck fast, I hoped would be a little more ready to release my £75 (each) latex-sidewalled, exclusive handmade French tubs. I worked a flexible plastic palette knife between the rim and the basetape opposite the valve and pulled it around. This was actually, a little bit worryingly, easy.

Now I just need to get my hands on some 27mm Vittoria Pave tubulars to replace them with.

"That Shelf"

Every cyclist has one - a drawer or a shelf or, for some, a whole cupboard wherein lurk: 1) those parts and pieces that come with new bike bits which aren't immediately useful but must be saved! and 2) old parts and pieces off existing bikes that have been upgraded but which are still in good nick and might just be of use to someone again one day. These are solid pieces of metal, rubber, and plastic. They are substantial things that it just seems wrong to simply throw in the bin.

But they are taking up valuable storage space in my small flat and so it's time to have a clear-out.

Here's what I found on "That Shelf" in the cupboard:

Tubeless tyre patch kit. As I don't have a mountain bike, let alone tubeless tyes, I have no idea where this came from. It must've been a freebie from somewhere.

2 pairs red Look Delta cleats - 1 used, 1 new - plus one spare new cleat

1 pair Look PP 396 "Edition Laurent Jalabert" pedals, well worn

1 pair Look Keo Carbons with a big scrape on the left one where, during a training session at Eastway in 2006, I first grounded a pedal on Clarie's Corner. My rear wheel lifted and skipped but I stayed upright and the adrenaline boost powered what was probably my fastest ever lap there. Now that Eastway's gone, these have to be kept for sentimental reasons.

Look Keo cleats - 2 grey (1 new, 1 used), 3 red (2 new, 1 used). Those are individual cleats - not pairs. Since I only ever set my left foot down when stopping, that cleat wears out much sooner than the right and I used to replace them as needed, which was never both at the same time.

These next three items are off of my old LeMond Reno, Greg - my first bike that I bought secondhand from a friend of a friend back in 2005:

• 3T bars, with front reflector still attached - too wide for me
• A pair of flat pedals with plastic toe clips and nylon straps
• 11cm 3T The stem

Of these next three things: I don't remember buying them and can't think why on earth I would have:

• 2 brand-new Specialized Mondo Pro tyres
• 9cm Kore alloy stem, still with price sticker attached (£19.95)
• 1 black plastic Specialized bottle cage

Polar watch handlebar mount and a good selection of zip ties

3 wheel magnets

2 tubes Vittoria tub glue

1 puncture repair kit

4 punctured inner tubes, 2 good inner tubes

2 blue Michelin Pro2Race tyres, used but not at all worn

1 pair Veloce brake calipers, new, from which I've cannibalised the brake shoes

11 pairs of insoles - 7 for running and 4 for cycling shoes - all redundant now that I have custom footbeds or orthoses in all my sports shoes

I use custom ovalised rings, so have the following round ones spare:

• Veloce 34T
• 50T chainring from an FSA SLK compact chainset
• 1 pair Record CT chainrings - 34/48

Plus a complete Stella Rapido compact chainset and bottom bracket. I love this crankset but had to take it off of my Legend when I installed the ergomo power meter bottom bracket. They just wouldn't fit. Maybe I'll put them back on now that I don't use the power meter any more.

A nylon spider bag containing: small saddlepack, 1 metal tyre lever, 1 plastic tyre lever, 2 grey Keo cleats, CO2 inflator with 3 cartridges, Blackburn mini pump and frame mount, Cateye rear light (no mount). I don't know where the thing is that I'd need to mount the saddlebag. Maybe it's in "That Box" of stuff at the back of that other cupboard...